I won’t take credit for writing this, but I found it on the net, and thought it was funny. All credits go to the author listed below.
For as long as the English have been making cars (some would say poorly, but with excellent style, poise and panache), Lucas has been providing the electrical wiring and switch gear.
For as long as Lucas have been making the electrics, British cars have suffered. Now, I’m not saying that the company today is like the old company, today Lucas are modern company, with a quality and reliability second to none, but for most of the company’s history their quality and reliability has been hit and miss.
So for any one who still suffers from the memory of having ever owned, driven, or pushed a British sports car, here are some of of my favorite sayings about old Lucas Electrics.
(Please note, I have had these things said to me they are a part of the lexicon of humour, I’m just repeating them here).
Lucas has never had a patent on darkness, just sudden unexpected darkness.
Lucas also hold the patent on the Short Circuit.
During the 1970 and 80’s Lucas electrics branched out into domestic appliances and sold vacuum cleaners in England, it was the only product they ever made that didn’t suck.
There is absolutely no truth that the company’s motto was Lucas, get home before dark”.
While other talked about it Lucas invented the the original anti theft device.
Lucas were also the inventors of the first intermittent wiper, although they thought it was normal.
Lucas are also the inventor of the self-dimming headlights.
All of their headlights had a three position switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
If Lucas was a manufacturer of firearms then wars would not start.
There is no truth to the rumour that the English drink warm beer because Lucas makes their Fridges.
There is no truth to the rumour that Lucas, tried to get British Parliament to repeal Ohmms Law, but that they gave up after too much resistance.
All of these things aside, you can tell you own a British Sports Car, if after you replace the electrical system and the fuel pumps, you still need to go driving with at least one friend to help you push it while you steer.
British cars designed to look good standing still, going fast, or loaded on the back of a tow truck.
Finally, there is no truth to the rumour that mobile phones were invented to help British Sports Car Owners call the Auto Club, its just that what most British Car owners use them for.
What… no oven baked recipe this year?
